Now I know I have quite a range of people who read my blog, but this post is aimed at all you single young women desiring marriage (although anyone is welcome to read it 🙂 )
This is a letter that was written to my friend by one of the married ladies that used to attend our church group, during a Secret Sister thing we did earlier this year. My friend was greatly encouraged by it so she shared it with me and I was so encouraged by it that I want to share it with you 🙂
Oh my…I have been in your shoes and I truly know how difficult it can be. You feel torn by conflicting emotions. On one hand, you know God to be completely sufficient. More than sufficient, even – you know Him to be abundantly able to fulfill the deepest longings of your soul.
On the other hand, there is this relationship called marriage. As God designed it to be, it is the most beautiful relationship on this earth. To be a woman desired, sought after, and won as a bride…to be a Godly man’s confidante, cheerleader, and friend…to keep his home and bear his children…the longing can be so intense at times!
Often, then, the guilt comes, “if God is sufficient, then why this longing?” “I must not love God as deeply – as passionate – as I ought to.” Can I just say this? The desire for marriage is given of God 🙂
There…no wonder it’s so consuming at times! And yet that desire has the potential to become idolatrous. See, there is a reason that the Lord created us with this longing. It is all about His glory. God’s glory. His honor. His reputation and the truth about His passionate, relentless pursuit and love for His bride → the church.
Marriage is a picture of this relationship. It’s easy for us to lose sight of that, both before and after we marry. The purpose is not our own happiness. The purpose of marriage is the glorification of God by the portrayal of His relationship with His bride! So then this desire is holy. But recognize it for what it truly is: the opportunity to represent the Church to the world in your role as a wife. It is a noble calling and not something to suppress.
But what do you do in the meantime? Prepare yourself. I know you are already familiar with the physical aspects of keeping a home. Prepare yourself spiritually and emotionally. Learn what God says a Godly wife looks like. Learn about men and how they think. Talk to your brothers and gain an understanding of why they act the way they do. Not all men are the same but often they share strengths and weaknesses that we women do not have. 🙂
Appreciate their strengths and learn how you can be a support and an encouragement in their weaknesses. Seek to honor and strengthen marriage as a whole – not only your future marriage, but those of the couples around you.
Above all, continually remind yourself that the desire for a husband, in its deepest sense, is actually a desire for God, for a husband is but an earthly picture of our relationship to Jesus Christ. There a couple of books I’d highly recommend. OK…more than a couple. But if you’ve not yet read them, they are excellent!
Desiring God by John Piper
The Pursuit of God and The Pursuit of Man by A.W. Tozer
Hinds Feet on High Places and Mountains of Spices by Hannah Hurnard
And lastly, be willing to be patient. 🙂 God’s timing is not only good; it is perfect. If He intends for you to marry, then He will bring the two of you together at the proper time. Not too soon…not too late 🙂 But if He has designed for you to be single, then know that you are not doomed to a life of unfulfilled longing and regret. You will always have the potential you have right now: fullness of joy. Abiding Peace. The key? Learning to walk in the presence of God. (“in thy presence is fullness of joy…” – Psalm 16)
Learn to love the voice of God. Take joy in walking the path He has set before you. Step by step, “Day by Day” do what He asks of you. In this way, you can never miss His will for your life. Believe it or not, marriage and motherhood have even greater opportunities for self-pity and discontent than does singleness…but also very great potential for unsurpassed joy.
Learn the skill of finding joy, contentment, and fulfillment now. Christ is your only guarantee of those traits later as well. No man can bear that expectation. If you learn to find complete satisfaction in Christ, you can release your husband from a great deal of stress and allow him to be a man. 🙂 This will prove very helpful and your husband will be very grateful.
I will pray for you!
Your Secret Sister