How does one put in words just how great our God really is?! There are only 3 words I can think of that describe my Journey….intense, powerful, and life-changing.
It wasn’t until the first night up in the Northwoods (Monday night), that I really began to feel God…before that I just kind of felt like I was in a fog.
Tuesday, as I was doing my personal devotions, I prayed that God would give me a Rhema, and I opened up my Bible (actually planning on reading Psalms), but it opened up to Malachi 3 and the first part of verse 6 almost jumped off the page at me…it said “I the Lord do not change.” I continued reading and when I got to verse 10, I knew God had shown me my Rhema. It said,
“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”
I didn’t even know that verse in the Bible, and I felt God was telling me…”Sara, give me everything you’re holding onto and just watch what I can do with it!” I was incredibly encouraged and excited, but little did I know that this was actually preparation for Thursday….
Thursday was our “Day of Delighting in the Lord” (where we fast until supper and spend the day just seeking God and spending time with Him). I was sitting in the kitchen reading my Bible and I knew I had given a certain area in my life over to Him, but I felt that God was telling me to write it out on a note and bury it there in the Northwoods…so I did.
I wrote a note of full surrender to Him, grabbed my coat, and headed out the door. I had walked a ways around the lake a couple days before, and knew the exact ‘burial place’. I buried the note, had a little ‘funeral’ and said, “There you are God, you have my ‘whole tithe'”…and what He said next was not what I wanted, nor expected, to hear.
“No I don’t” He replied. I was shocked…what did He mean?! I thought I had just given Him everything, what else did He want?! So I asked Him…and He told me. He wanted my eating habits. Back in July I had acknowledged the fact that the way I ate (or didn’t eat) was not pleasing to Him, but I hadn’t changed anything. Now He was asking for control over it all!
I’ll be perfectly honest and say that my reaction was not “oh, yes Lord, you can have it!”…but rather it was “No! absolutely not! I’m doing just fine on my own, I don’t need your help with that.” (and yes, that’s almost word for word what I was telling God).
As I continued my walk around the lake, there was a battle…God wanting to help, and me telling Him I didn’t need, nor did I want it!
By the time I got back to our cabin, however (it was a 3.7 mile walk!) I had decided that God could have it…I’d given it to Him. I also knew I wanted to write a surrender note for this area of my life and bury it as well – so I would have a time that I could look back to and say, “this is when I gave it to God, He has it and I’m not going to take it back.”
I wasn’t able to do it that day, but first thing Friday morning, I grabbed the note, headed to the same place I had buried my note before, found a place on the opposite side of the trail and had another funeral.
I felt a sense of freedom and knew that there would/will be struggles ahead, but with God in control, I don’t have to worry! He now has my ‘whole tithe’.
Seeing as how this blog post is a whole lot longer than I thought it would be, I’ll continue my testimony in a later post. I still need time to find the words for it anyhow 🙂