My Journey from Within pt. 5

The conclusion of Lisa’s testimony….

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My lifetime church split, totally in half, the people I had grown up with and had been mentored by, taking sides.  It was like a divorce, a pain that shook my world.  We began meeting in “the barn”.  I laugh now; I always thought that only crazy people started a new church.  Well don’t ever say never, God just may put you in a situation that you are uncomfortable in order to teach you that you were wrong.  The next 5 years were spent in what I have to say the most unleashed learning experience of my life, I had to let go of myself before I could grasp on to Jesus, this was very out of my box, but revealing at the same time.  I learned about real love, unconditional love, for the first time in a church.  

This last year, has brought tons of challenges to my life.  Allowing Alitza to graduate, yes, this is just the way I mean to say it too, allowing :). Finally, letting go and letting God, giving her to God to bring up, as she is definitely on a journey of her own now.  It has proved to be a very trying time watching her struggle to fit into life as an adult with a disability, having many challenges of its own… we will have to have an update, on how awesome God is this time.  I have no doubt it will end up with prideful parents.  I’ll then have to look up PRIDE in my concordance! 

I also had some health issues to deal with during this season, I even prayed to God, and wished my whole life had been different, I told Him “I’m tired and I don’t want to do this anymore.”  This happened right before Christmas, Faith and I were watching the Flintstone Christmas Scrooge, (which by the way is the best rendition I have ever seen).  So that night when I went to bed I decided to take myself back through all the ups and downs of my life one at a time and try to vision it differently as if it had happened with all Cinderella endings. 

 I didn’t even get through all of the story in my mind when I realized that I wouldn’t be who I am without my story just the way it had unfolded, I can’t even imagine but I’m sure I would have ended up shallow and unfeeling to those around me, God somehow made it alright, once again.  He truly is good ALL OF THE TIME.

 Ahhhh trusting God in my journey and never giving up that was the question wasn’t it??  My journey is still in process…I hope not to slip back into becoming more about doing doing doing… than just about being.  Putting work, and deeds in front of what is really important…just being with Jesus, just being still and knowing the He Is God!!  My goal is to get better at recognizing it and taking what I have learned from it and growing to be more like Christ.  My prayer is to be led into all truth. 

 Singer, song writer Wynonna Judd says it like this, “When you hit rock bottom you’ve got two ways to go, straight up and side ways, I have seen my share of hard times and I’m letting you know straight up is my way!”  This is only part of what God’s word has rescued me from.  I am so thankful that He is never ending and never changing, I learned to love His word and depend on it, I began to dig into what He had to say, and even better yet I learned to hide what He had to say inside my heart.  So I have come to realize that the only way I want to go is straight up and definitely not side ways.

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