2011 and 2012 were hard years but very good years for my spiritual growth. I feel like I have learned so much, but yet I know so little, if you know what I mean. In 2012 I went again to the WIT conference with an eagerness to see what God would have for me! I have never been to any other conference that has helped me so much.
Now jumping ahead to Fall of 2012. My sister had been on a Journey to the Heart the year before and I could see a huge work that God was doing in her life through it, so I really wanted to go on one. Through a string of circumstances I ended up going on the last one for the guys in October.
Let me back up and tell you what I was going through in the few months before that……I was really wanting to get married or at least know what God was wanting me to be doing with my life. I had been talking with my parents about what I should be doing, with life in general, and about that little woman, Sara. I was really wanting to know what God was wanting me to do, so I was really feeling like I needed to get away and seek out what God wanted for my life, and the direction He wanted me to go.
So Saturday, October 20th, 2012 I left for journey I was headed for Chicago, and then the upper peninsula. The first miracle was that I made it to Chicago without ever making a wrong turn or getting lost…. I really did feel like God was watching out for me – I really hate driving in the city. Anyways, the journey had begun. Monday we left for the Northwoods. The Northwoods was just what I needed. It was awesome! Pine trees everywhere, and a huge lake with a beautiful lodge…by the way, I love water and especially fishing. It felt like just the place that I needed to be. We had some great leaders for our group; I couldn’t have asked for any better ones.
We went through a lot of great material and some awesome sermons. And then came Thursday…… it was the day of fasting. We had just gone through a few sessions and taken a break when they said we were all heading up to the lodge. Once we got to the lodge, our leaders asked us to take a piece of paper and write out a list of things that God was asking us to give up or yield to him. I wrote out a few things, but the main thing that was pressing me was my relationship with Sara. I felt like He was telling me that I should totally die to ever pursuing her in marriage… and that was the last thing that I wanted to do. But I finally did it; I wrote her name on the list. After we had our papers filled out, we were suppose to kayak across the lake and burn our list and give it all to God. It was a big lake and it was a long kayak trip, so I had a lot of time to think and pray.
I can remember trying to reason with God as to why I needed to give up on this relationship that I wanted so bad. It seemed like God was saying ‘do you really want to know what I have in store for you?’ ……and I felt like I wouldn’t know until I yielded this issue. It was a long trip across the lake, but I finally made it. I burned the letter and made my way back to the lodge, still uncertain about Sara, but I knew I had done the right thing. At the lodge our leaders gave us a clean sheet of paper and some time alone to write out what God was telling us to do, now that we had given up some things that He didn’t want in our lives.
I remember sitting up in the dining room at the lodge looking out over the lake with my elbows on the window sill. I had written down some things that I knew I needed to do, but there was still something that was really troubling me, what was I going to do now that I had given Sara to God?…. what did he want from me know? I remember praying, “God is Sara the one that I should pursue in marriage?” and then I just sat there… it was so quiet, and I felt like asking God if He even heard me, but I remained quiet…. and then the answer came. All I remember was a clear “yes”, and that’s all that God seemed to say was “yes”…… I was so excited! But at the same time I was like, “God was that really you? Did you really just say that?” So my next prayer was, “God give me a portion of scripture to confirm what you are telling me.” So now I was waiting for confirmation, and it wasn’t till after Journey that I got it. But one thing I have learned is, God’s timing is never off and He is doing all things for my good.
TO BE CONTINUED