Being a Mom :)

I started writing this post July 9th, but since I don’t have internet access at home, it’s taken me a little while to actually get it posted 🙂  Enjoy!

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I’ve learned a lot about being a mom in the 4 weeks since Johnathan joined our little family.  It’s all been a learning experience, but it didn’t really hit me until yesterday, just what being a mom really is.

It’s sacrifice. 

I always knew being a mom wasn’t easy, and required a lot of work, but I never truly understood the amount of sacrifice, and selflessness it took.

Gone are the nights of being able just to sleep – here to stay for awhile, are the nights of getting up every few hours to nurse a hungry baby, change a messy diaper, and rock my little guy back to sleep…while fighting not to fall asleep myself.

Gone is the freedom that I used to have to just be able to take off with Kyle at a moment’s notice and go do something fun – now we either have to plan ahead, or sometimes I just get ‘left behind’ because it would be too difficult to take Johnathan.

Gone is the ability to “plan” my day – now it’s just a matter of getting done what I can while Johnathan’s sleeping, or between feedings, and diaper changes.

Gone are the days of being able to put on an outfit in the morning and wear it all day – I now have more laundry than ever, due to baby spit up, and overloaded, leaky diapers.

And if that was all I focused on, then life would be very discouraging and overwhelming right now.  But it’s so much more than that! It’s all the ‘little’ things that keep me going, and make it so worth the sacrifice, and selflessness…like a little toothless smile as he dozes off right after he’s eaten, or those times right after his bath, when he’s all fresh and clean and in his pajamas, and I can just cuddle and rock him.  It’s those little cooing noises he makes when he’s swinging in his swing; happy as can be.  It’s those big, baby blue eyes looking up at me; so full of wonder and amazement.  It’s his little hand holding tight to my finger.  It’s his little head on my shoulder as he sleeps; feeling his warm breath on my neck.  It’s the funny facial expressions he makes when he’s looking at me (my favorite is when he crosses his eyes and purses his lips!).

So yes, while life as a mother can be very taxing and draining (both physically and mentally), it can also be the most fulfilling thing ever!

But it does take an amazing amount of sacrifice and selflessness.  I have to learn to put Johnathan’s needs before my needs/wants.  I have to learn not to dwell on what I can no longer do, and instead, focus on what truly matters, and thank the Lord for this time of life.

I have found that the most difficult times for me, are when I do get my focus off of what matters, and focus totally on myself and what I’m not getting.  When that happens, I find myself very emotional and worn out (just ask Kyle, he’ll tell you just how emotional I can be at times! 🙂 ).

I’ve said to myself during difficult times that “this too shall pass”. But at the same time, I don’t want to miss out on this time of life.  There are so many little joys at this stage, if I just keep my focus where it needs to be.

Let me end by saying this…..being a mom is wonderful – albeit challenging at times – and I wouldn’t trade it for anything! 🙂

Sara & John

 

The Arrival :)

June 13th dawned like any other day, but little did we know that our little blessing would soon join our family!

I woke up a little after 10am, and at 10:10 my water broke (due to circumstances though, I wasn’t sure if it really had).  I wasn’t having any contractions, but had a slight cramp that went away.  I debated what to do…should I call the ob-gyn office and let them know?  My midwife was gone that day for a family activity.  I started making a Quiche to take with us to the birthing center, just in case I really was in labor.  Around 10:30, I decided I would at least call and let them know I thought my water had broken, and just see what they said I should do.

I talked with my midwife’s assistant, and she told me a couple things to try to see if I was really in labor, and said to call her back in an hour and let her know.

I did what she said, and I also started to have more cramps, but nothing real bad – just like menstrual cramps – but there still weren’t contractions.

I called her back around 11:30 and left a message telling her this, and a couple minutes later, Kyle called me from work on his lunch break.   I debated whether or not I should tell him what was going on since I wasn’t even having contractions yet.  I chose to tell him, and he said he was coming right home!  I told him not to; after all, this was our first baby and they usually take awhile; it probably wouldn’t be until evening.

We decided to wait and see what my midwifes assistant said and then I would call Kyle back and let him know whether or not he should come home.  She called soon afterwards and said it sounded like I might be in labor, and if I wanted to come into the office and be checked I could; but they would be closed from noon to 1 for lunch.

I relayed this info to Kyle and he made the choice to come home from work.  I went back to working on the quiche I still hadn’t gotten made (I had taken breaks to sit down every now and then due to the cramps).

By the time Kyle got home around 12, things had progressed rather quickly, and I had given up on finishing the quiche, and was laying on the couch in great pain.  I still was not having timeable contractions however; it was more like one long contraction that wouldn’t release.

I asked Kyle to finish making the quiche, and we could just take it with us and bake it at the birthing center.  He went to the kitchen to work on it, and a minute later and I told him to just forget about it – we needed to leave!

He hurried and changed his clothes, grabbed my bag, and out the door we went! When I got in the Bravada, my one long contraction stopped, and they became timeable – although by this time, I wasn’t even thinking to time them.  Kyle was, however, and they were about 4 minutes apart.

We got to the ob-gyn office at 1:00, and by this time I was fighting the urge to push, and Kyle had to get a wheelchair for me since I couldn’t walk.  The midwife assistants were just getting back from lunch.

They got me into the room, checked me and said “Um, you’re fully dilated.  Do you want to go over to the birthing center, or do you want to stay here?”  I chose to stay there (even though the birthing center was really close)…there was no way I was getting back into that vehicle!

They hurried and contacted the midwife that was there and told her to get down there quick!

At 1:42, we welcomed Johnathan Andrew into our family. He weighed 7lbs. 2oz. and was 20″ long.  Kyle even got to help catch him, and cut the umbilical cord 🙂   About a minute after he was born, my midwife (the one who was gone for a family activity), came hurrying into the room; hoping to be there in time.

A few minutes later they moved us over to the birthing center for recovery.  I walked from the office to the car, carrying Johnathan, and they said it wasn’t the first time to have delivered a baby in the office, but it was the first time for somebody to walk out after delivering!  Usually they need a wheelchair 🙂

We were at the birthing center until about 5:00/5:30 and then we came home.  When we got home, Kyle’s dad and sister were out mowing our yard.  We had more family come and visit that evening, and ooh and ahh all over the new little one 🙂

Johnathan has been such a wonderful addition to our family, and even though we have rough times, and sleepless nights, I love having a little one in the house!!

God has truly blessed us!!!

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