May 20th 2016 was a beautiful day, but I hardly noticed it. “Complete Placenta Previa”….My midwifes words hit me like me a ton of bricks. Here I was, pregnant with our 3rd child, hoping for a normal, peaceful birth (unlike my first 2….John was born in the check-up room, and Isaac was emergency caesarean due to prolapsed cord), and now that hope was gone.
As we talked to her, my Midwife explained that there was a slight chance that the placenta could move, but was unlikely considering how far along I was at that point, and, if it did move, would probably not be enough for a natural birth. Also, there was the possibility of Placenta Accreta – where the placenta attaches too deeply to the uterus, and, if there’s too much bleeding, could require an emergency Hysterectomy. I needed to plan a cesarean. Not only that, but I would need to find a more equipped facility, preferably with NICU, in case of emergency.
I fought tears all the way home…not only was I going to have another cesarean, but this may very well be my last pregnancy.
We stopped at a Walmart, and, while Kyle ran in, I stayed in the van. I was numbly listening to the radio, when suddenly the words of the song hit me…”Daddy’s don’t just love their children every now and then. It’s a love without end. Amen”
I realized that through everything that was happening, God still loved me and was ultimately in control of it all. I was free to just trust Him, and let it all play out as He saw fit.
The next several weeks were still incredibly difficult for me, and I spent many days in tears, struggling to come to grips with it all.
What if I had to have a hysterectomy and this was our last child? What if it was another boy? What if I never had a baby girl?
I remember one day in particular, I was doing dishes, and just pouring my heart out to God and asking Him, “Why would you let this happen? We are trusting you with the amount of children that we have, so why would you only give us 3? Is it so wrong that I want a girl someday? What if you never give us one?”
And God’s response nearly knocked me off my feet…
“Are you really trusting me with the amount of children you have? What if I only want you to have 3? Will you still love me and trust me, or will you only trust me if I give you more? And what if it’s my plan for you to only have boys? Will you still be happy?”
I literally stopped washing dishes; shocked.
I had never thought about it that way.
Throughout those weeks, I also heard 2 songs on the radio that encouraged me so much, “Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle, and “Thy Will Be Done” by Hilary Scott.
We had so many friends and family praying for us, and we were praying constantly as well. It wasn’t until later that I realized I had been praying differently from everyone else.
I’ll spare you the details, but we FINALLY found a doctor that would accept me, and our insurance….he was LITERALLY the last one on our list. The cesarean was scheduled for Sept. 6th (one day before our 3rd anniversary).
August 5th, we had another ultrasound to verify just where the placenta was, and the severity it all. As we watched on the monitor, I braced myself for the news I knew was coming….but it never came.
“I don’t see any sign of previa”, the technician said, “not even partial”.
Kyle asked her about placenta Accreta….”nope” she replied, pointing at the screen “you can see right here that it’s not attached too deeply.”
When we had finished and were waiting for the doctor to come in, we tried not to get too excited. We braced ourselves, thinking that we would still have to have the cesarean, just in case. But we were wrong. Doctor said I could go ahead and try a natural birth if we wanted, everything was fine!
Talk about an overwhelming sense of Joy!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn’t get texts sent out fast enough when we got back in the van!
SOOO many people told us that they had been praying for a miracle, and for God to completely heal me.
And this is where I realized I had been praying differently than everyone else….you see, I had been praying for the cesarean to go well, and that I would see Gods purpose in it all…I never once prayed for healing.
I was just in awe of what had taken place – for God to take a complete placenta previa and move it 100% in that short of time, was nothing, and I mean NOTHING, but a MIRACLE.
On September 30th, Jackson Everett joined our little family, healthy as can be.
And to this day I still marvel over all that took place in those few short months, and just how much my Faith grew through it all. God did not have to do what He did, but I think He chose to do it all, just to show how big, powerful, and loving He truly is.
And I have a baby that I snuggle and kiss every single day that proves it.